CaroleeFlatley.com

Going to really work hard on my blog, I think. I’d like to be doing more here!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

A lot of people will read the title of this post and think, “me? Sensitive? Even highly sensitive? Never!” At first, that was my reaction as well! I’m decidedly unsensitive, almost to a fault. But something told me to dig further when I heard about it and I’m glad I did. Once upon a time (as in two weeks ago), I would push through pain, brain fog, whatever I needed to do to get things done. I was also exhausted and grumpy, I wasn’t sleeping and was generally having a bad time. Upon reading about highly sensitive people, I decided to take a more proactive approach to managing my stress and stimulation levels. I started relaxing before bed, either by watching fun TV or reading. I walked more. I asked my boyfriend to help watch me and keep me to my commitment to lower my stress levels. I cut back on caffeine and sugar. Not only has it been a boon to my physical health (I have far less pain and am far more well rested than I once was) but I’ve never been better emotionally.

My way of explaining being an HSP to others has been “it’s like having your nervous system turned up to 11 when most people are around seven or eight”. The wiki entry on it explains it best. HSPs “process sensory data much more deeply and thoroughly due to a biological difference in their nervous systems”. Being an HSP isn’t emotional or mental, it’s a genetic physical trait that roughly one in five people has. It’s also been observed in animals! It’s something totally natural and just part of the spectrum of life. Now, being like this can definitely have some emotional and social traits associated with it. It can contribute to behavior which can be seen by observers as “shy” or “anti-social” but that may just be the way the person deals with their oversensitivity. However, about 30% of HSPs are extroverts (including myself) so HSPs are all types of people.

So how do you know if you are one? In the research I’ve done, the best thing I’ve found is Dr. Elaine Aron’s self-test but a few questions to ask yourself:

- Do you find yourself retreating to your imagination a lot, esp. in busy times?
- Does too much noise and commotion drain you more quickly than most people?
- Do you need a lot of alone time to feel “normal”?
- Does your body react differently to various chemicals (drugs, caffeine, etc.) than most people you know?

If so, you might also be an HSP! Take the self test and find out.

If you are an HSP, there are basically two ways to go about it (and, let’s be fair, it’s this way in many situations): fight it or learn to take care of yourself. I’ve learned that fighting your body is like fighting quicksand: the more you fight, the more you sink. The more I ignore the signs that I need a break, the more pain and exhaustion I feel as I work and after I’m done. So, please, listen to your body! It will tell you what it needs! As an HSP, it will often need alone time for rest and reflection. Honor those requests.

I’ve found several resources that have been helpful to me in this journey, which I’ll list below. Hopefully they’ll help you as well! HSP isn’t something that’s discussed frequently, but there definitely are people out there discussing it, trying to learn from each other and grow along with it. If you think that you or someone you know is an HSP, please do some reading, join some discussions and tell us about your experiences!

Dr. Elaine Aron’s site
An HSP Yahoo! Group
The HSP group on Tribe.net
Highly Sensitive Power, a great blog written by an HSP

After a review of my 2009, on the surface, it looked great. My new year was happy tears awesome. Moved on to a new life in Seattle, which went well. I have new friends here, a new love and a new life all of which I’m very happy with. I had a great visit with my family over the summer and got to see many of the friends I miss very badly.

But, toward the end, things started to get rough. Legal troubles, job loss, stress and with it, a LOT of pain. Not psychological pain, physical pain. 2009 left like a lion, that’s for sure.

I decided that I was done with it. I was done with the pain and the stress. 2010 was going to be a year I dedicated to myself. I made some resolutions/goals for the year and started reading to try to get closer.

Another thing I started allowing myself to do is not be such a skeptic. I’ve used "The Universe" as shorthand for the unexplained for years, despite being a logical atheist. You know, the times when something you were thinking of shows up over and over, or you think about calling someone and they reach out to you first. I knew this project was bigger, bigger than myself, bigger than I could handle on my own. My awesome boyfriend would be there, but I needed someone big, someone huge, in my corner… someone like The Universe.

I’m a natural insomniac. I’ve been a bad sleeper as long as I can remember, from childhood really. And so, at night, I just started praying. Yup, just started one day. It felt right. I’d been reading Sera Beak’s The Red Book and just started to have a conversation with the Universe about how open I was to this change and that I would watch my life with a keen eye looking for things and actively search for more. I started talking to it in my meditation, using mantras about keeping my eyes open to the guidance I needed.

Since then, I’ve been surprised, very surprised. Suddenly, big things started happening for me.
- I found Gabrielle Bernstein. Her book created a new internal dialogue for me, got me meditating regularly, had me reaching out to friends.
- That reaching out found me some dear friends who were on a similar path and we’ve now banded together (this site!)
- After a stressful, but lucrative, work situation ended, I had another one pop up that ended up being with a woman I consider a mentor and she and I were able to talk about her story, which helped me a great deal.
- Listening to Gabrielle’s talks lead me to herfuture.com where I’ve met and talked with other people.
- I got the strength and the determination to finally get my Style Statement done, something I’ve wanted to do for years and never done.
- Through the Style Statement blog, I found out about Grace Kerina and her blog, Highly Sensitive Power, which introduced me to the concept of the HSP, the highly sensitive person, a person who’s nervous system is more highly attuned than others. Hearing about it, I think I actually heard it click in my head. (I’ll be writing more about this in the near future at the request of my dear Amy so if you’re curious, stay tuned!)
- My meditation practice has created a situation where I have big and small talks with my inner voice. This alone has helped me so much.

I still have so far to go but I don’t think I could have done all of this without the active and passive set up work. Whether or not The Universe is a real thing or not is not the point. The point is I put myself in the right frame of mind to be open to the changes. I was general. I allowed it to come organically. My control freak and latent Type A tendencies are trying to control the progress and that’s my biggest fight now but I know The Universe has my back and it’s something I return to every time I close my eyes, breath deeply and just let the wisdom come. I don’t care about the source, just about the message.

Sweet IceCream Color Coat & Original Beret Hatの画像 | Baby Ribbon Blog

Sweet IceCream Color Coat & Original Beret Hatの画像 | Baby Ribbon Blog

Fur Ribbon Coat ＆ Lady Gloves ♪♪の画像 | Baby Ribbon Blog

I’m a big proponent of gratitude. Gratitude gets you way farther than attitude in my book and taking the time out every day or every week or so to sit back and think, “hey! What’s super awesome in my life?” really does help create a shift in your outlook. I should know! It worked for me!

Things I Love Thursday is something started by Mz Gala Darling who blogs at galadarling.com. She’s a great inspiration to those who want to live life their way, even if they’re not necessarily sure what way that is just yet! Check out her TILT for this week here.

So what am I diggin’ on this week?

• Machine Translation. Looking for more cooking inspiration pushed me to look at machine translated Japanese last night and it had the boy and I giggling like idiots. I should be able to scrape a few recipes (reshipi!) from it so the whole thing was quite productive. Speaking of which…
• The Beau. We’ve had a bit of a rough week, having a pretty serious discussion and both getting bothersome news from the state on the same damn day(!), but he’s always there to set me right, give me encouragement and say, “we can make this work” and that’s worth more than it’s weight in gold. And on that note…
• My Fellow “Peas”. Ever heard that phrase “two peas in a pod” to describe people who are really similar and get along all smashingly? Well, I’m part of a three-pea pod and it makes me super happy. Chillaxin’ on the couch, watching Mythbusters with mah peaz is the best place to be. We all sigh over Keri. Goodness she’s adorable!
• New Friends. Hit up the beau’s holiday party and met some new folks. Hit it off esp. well with one in particular, discovered later that we had other connections previously unknown. Very much looking forward to getting together with new friends in the coming weeks or at least early 2010!
• Rediscovering The Lost. Not the show, mind you, but things you thought were gone only to be pushed up to the surface again. For the longest time, I haven’t considered myself a creative person, but now I’m trying to write and take photos daily to force myself into the habit. I have a lot of trouble starting new habits, so I’ve created a little reminder for myself:
  So far it’s working! And by so far, I mean, for the last three days! Three down, 18 more to go (they say that it takes 21 days to create a habit)!
• Amazing Opportunities. A friend recently presented me with a ridiculous opportunity to brush up on some old skills and make a good chunk of change doing it. I’m psyched!

There’s tons more making me grin right now, but if I listed all that, we’d be here forever! And now for the moment of truth, what’s floating your boat today?

Coffee time.

Purchased CameraBag for PC and played with the new multi-filter. This one’s Cinema>1974>Colorcross.

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, shouting GERONIMO!”
Hunter S. Thompson from Hell’s Angels